Tuesday, June 13, 2006
[*dR.eA.M$*] ...lately ... i've been surrounded by many things that i do not understand why it happens ... why do people behave the way they do ? why do they do things that they obviously know will land them in trouble ? why do they do things that makes people judge them ? why ?
been feeling extremely tired lately ... not of life ... but just mentally and physically tired ... that i really wish i could fall into a deep sleep and wake up a few days later ... my body is not gonna be able to take the stress that i'm putting it through ... i feel as if i'm breaking apart ... that i could faint anytime ... am i not alright ? am i not as strong as i thought myself to be ? what's wrong with me ?
today in choir ... i thought i would faint ... it was my mental and spiritual strength that kept me hanging through practice today ... physically ... i don't think i was gonna make it ... my body seriously felt it was breaking down on me ... i'm really scared of what might happen ... guess now ... i can only rely on God to work His miracles in my life ... i must have faith ...
i need to remind myself that i'm doing everything now with God's strength ... and not mine alone ... cos i cannot do it alone ... i'm not that capable ... i'm not that strong ... i'm seriously questioning the purpose of studying now ... especially knowing that sooner or later in life ... i'm gonna die ... but ... i guess this is life ... and i have to accept it ...
my dreams ... are only real in my mind ... not reality ... my dream is heaven ... no earthly things ... no hatred ... but love everywhere ... i'm waiting for the moment when i'll be in His presence ... but for now ... till my purpose on this earth is fulfilled ... i'll be around ... fulfilling His purpose for my life ... in His time ...
love,
cheryn ...
posted at 6/13/2006 08:42:00 pm
